


Other Bandom Oneshots!

by Narrissic



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cute, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Mental Anguish, Past Arguing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-29 03:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narrissic/pseuds/Narrissic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Phil is having the worst day of his life when he gets back to his and Dan's flat. Unknowingly, Dan only makes things worse.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. For All Those Sleepless Nights

"Tyler..." Josh croaked in his sleep and kicked at the thin blanket over him. Not that Josh could quiet down so his boyfriend wouldn't overhear from the bedroom. 

Josh had to sleep on the lumpy couch tonight, alone with a puke green blanket that smelled like dust. Josh squirmed and gasped, kicking the blanket to the floor and with a strangled shout, following right after it. 

Josh awoke with a half-scream and realized what just happened when the hardwood floor poked at his bony hips. 

He closed his eyes and let himself hurt, beginning to shake and sob because he was alone. There was no Tyler coming to his rescue this time. Tyler got the bedroom while Josh was banished to the couch, sleeping fine without him because Tyler was fine without him. That thought only made Josh feel worse and failed to muffle himself with his bare arms. 

He didn't have the energy (or will) to get back up, not even roll over to save his life. It would just make him dizzy, and dizziness gave Josh migraines. So he kept his gaze on the underbelly of the couch, absentmindedly counting the dust particles along with the remote they lost. 

If he closed his eyes, he would see his demons' faces and it'd just take longer for him to sleep. Without Tyler to scare them away, the demons would watch him and wait with knowing smiles. It terrified Josh enough for him to curl up and shudder because he could swear they were right behind him, laughing and

"Shut up," Josh snapped at the blurry things and he heard them snicker at him. 

He whimpered and curled into a tighter ball, but the air continued to heavy with tension. It had to be several hours until dawn, and making Tyler angrier with him wasn't an option. Nor was waking him up on the occasion that he could sleep soundly. He knew because there would've been some sounds of a nightmare from the bedroom by now. Josh had known Tyler long enough to gather that much. 

His head pounded with a headache and his eyes watered, only making stifling sobs more difficult. After this first experience, Josh made a silent pact that he was never sleeping on the lumpy couch ever again. Not alone, if he had the choice. 

Josh kept to himself for several more minutes, unmoving until he heard a door creak open and a pair of feet shuffling out of a room. Josh startled and held his breath, staying as still as possible. 

Dumb idiot. He hates you, Josh.

"J-Josh?" Tyler's tentative voice called out as it came closer to the place where Josh was curled up on the floor. He decided not to answer on the off chance Tyler would just go back to the bedroom, but Josh lied to himself.

"Josh, I know you're awake.. I think." Josh heard Tyler round the coffee table and kneel down beside him. As he patted his cotton candy hair Josh opened his eyes and decided to screw the Oh, You Just Woke Me Up Plan. 

"What is it, Tyler?" Josh made the effort to roll onto his back and stopped dead at the sight above him. It was Tyler alright. Albeit completely disheveled and dark circles under his eyes, but Tyler.

"I.. I'm sorry I got mad at you for the dishes." He got caught so off guard by the weakness in his voice, Josh couldn't remember.

"What dishes?" 

Tyler sniffled something that sounded like he was holding back tears and hovered a little. "For saying you don't help! That I do all the work when you practically support me! That was fricking stupid.. and horrible of me as a boyfriend and a friend," Tyler spewed and pushed the coffee table away. "I'm sorry Josh." 

Josh stared for a moment before leaning up to grab Tyler by his hair and lead him in a deep kiss. He gasped, but it only lasted a moment before it ended but Josh kept a hand around his neck. 

Tyler froze before wordlessly pulling Josh into his lap. He immediately snuggled closer for warmth because the floor was cold. 

In return Tyler held him and placed kisses where skin was exposed, picking up at his neck. Josh shivered to the touch and let him, raking his fingers through Tyler's hair and muffling any noises with his arm. 

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry," Tyler kept repeating and held onto Josh as if he were teddy bear.

"It's okay, Ty.. Don't be sad, I'm okay." 

"It's not though." Tyler shook his head and cupped Josh's cheek. "I haven't slept tonight. I was too scared I'd hear you leave. But then I heard.. crying and a thud, but I didn't get up and see if.." Tyler's voice trembled and he closed his eyes. 

"Why didn't you?" Josh asked softly and grazed Tyler's cheek.

"..Scared you'd hate me," Tyler whispered over the silence and Josh saw more tears stream down his cheeks. 

Shaking his head, Josh wiggled out of Tyler's grip and back to the floor. "J-Josh.." Tyler begged at the lost of contact and recoiled in the space where Josh used to be. 

But instead of leaving him Josh took Tyler's hands in his and tugged on them. Tyler's bloodshot gaze snapped up to Josh's and shakily got to his knees too. The sight broke Josh's heart and tugged Tyler up to his feet. 

When he finally got the will to comply, Josh flung his arms around Tyler, startling him back a foot. Shocked, Tyler sobbed brokenly and lied his head in the crook of his neck. 

"Shh, it's okay Ty. Guess what?" Josh pulled back to kiss him on the cheek.

"W-What?" Tyler responded in a voice so light you couldn't have heard it if a pen dropped.

"I couldn't sleep either.. If I did I was having nightmares." Tyler's expression contorted sadly. 

"I don't care about the dishes, or even the arguing.. Do you want the truth?" Tyler remained quiet and nodded, holding onto Josh's hands between them. Josh returned the gesture and hugged Tyler protectively.

"I missed you. Sleeping alone sucked. I like cats. Can we go to bed?" Tyler's frown peeked into a grin at the last one and nodded.

"I'm sor-" he began but Josh cut Tyler off with another deep kiss. "It's okay, Ty. Sleep." 

Tyler sniffled and reached out his hand for Josh to hold. Josh complied and kissed it. "I love you," Tyler croaked, closing his weary eyes and his voice cracked with emotion. 

"I love you most." Josh then led Tyler by the hand to their bedroom to fall asleep much easier. 

The demons never made another appearance in Josh's dreams that night. Not when Tyler was there.


	2. Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is having the worst day of his life when he gets back to his and Dan's flat. Unknowingly, Dan only makes things worse.

Phil cursed himself as the keys to his and Dan's flat slipped from his hands and onto the floor. That was just the cherry on top of all the horrible shit he trudged though today. 

It all started with waking up late to miss the meeting he had with the BBC that morning. Dan was still asleep when he rushed out the door, only to find that he missed it and didn't eat until two in the afternoon. 

Then while he was out buying groceries, he found he lost his wallet at home after he was already at the checkout counter. Incident after incident until the worst happened and he fell down a small cement flight of stairs, cracking his phone. 

Nothing was too noticeable, and Phil figured as long as he can just forget this awful day, he could move on. 

Phil picked the keys off the ground and turned the doorknob. He just hoped his boyfriend would be asleep or watching Buffy so he wouldn't have to explain the heavy limp in his right leg. 

Opening the door, Phil was greeted with a quiet, still flat. He blinked for a moment in uncertainty and set his bags down by the doorway. Phil figured there would've been a mess, anything. 

But that wasn't until he entered the living room. That was where Dan lied facing the TV on the sofa, his phone open to Tumblr. A couple movies and magazines lied strewn about, but far from the worst mess he's come home to. 

"Oh, hi Phil." Dan looked up and smiled once he saw him enter. Then he frowned. "Something wrong? Sorry 'bout the mess, I'll fix it later," Dan blinked, still watching Phil smile half heartedly at him. 

"Thanks, um. I didn't get the groceries. I kinda got into-" Phil cut himself off as he walked forward, and tripped over a book like the clumsy oaf he is. 

Dan snorted and burst out laughing at his trip while Phil groaned from the ground. Unfortunately, he also fell on his stupid limp, and it took all his will not to cry out in pain. What he could do was hold his calf and groan. 

Dan meanwhile was finding this comical, and sat up on the couch, the phone abandoned. "Oi, how's the view from down there?" 

When Phil only squirmed in response, Dan snorted. "Oh my God, Phil. You're such a loser," he joshed, grinning. At the playful insult, Phil sighed, trying to hold tears back. 

He was a loser. He was a fucking idiot, trying to get groceries for them and actually trying to do something right for once in his life. He just screwed up every time. 

Every single second of his day had been horrible, and that was Phil's fault too. Then Dan would realise how useless he is and move out. And then- "Phil?" 

His boyfriend looked down at him more concerned now when Phil still didn't move. Yet he remained unsaid, and struggled to his feet with an obvious stiffness in his back.

"Hey, I'm sorry.. Phil, tell me what's wrong," Dan consoled. 

Phil just shook his head as tears started to fill his eyes and turned away towards the hallway. But he couldn't bring himself to walk forward. His leg throbbed in pain and he was afraid that if he tried, he would trip again and be made even more of a laughingstock. Usually he didn't have a problem with that, but this had been the worst day of his life by far. He wasn't in the mood. 

The next thing Phil knew, Dan's hand was curling into the fabric of his jacket and turning him around. He tried to push away in mock attempt before he was being pulled into a hug. 

That was the opening of the floodgates for Phil. He couldn't hold back anymore and began to cry into Dan's shoulder. And he just let him, petting his ebony hair and rubbed his back in slow, soothing patterns. 

Eventually Phil found his arms wrapping around Dan's middle by muscle memory. "I'm sorry, Phil. You had a shit day, haven't you?" 

Phil couldn't find the will to answer and leaned into Dan more. "Wanna talk about it?" he coaxed and pecked Phil's shoulder. 

Phil shook his head. "Just wanna sleep," he croaked and sniffled. 

"Okay," Dan nodded. "You go rest and don't worry. I'll clean this up for you." 

Phil made a noise of discontent and pulled back to look at him. "I didn't say I wanted to sleep alone," he murmured and looked up at him. 

"Yeah?" Dan smiled and pressed their foreheads together. Phil nodded and adjusted his hold on Dan's hips. "Yeah. I mean, if you want," he shrugged and looked down. 

Dan just grinned and kissed Phil's cheek. "I want." 

He smiled in satisfaction and kissed Dan full on the lips, holding his hips. "Okay," Phil sighed. "Sorry I didn't get the groceries.." 

Dan just rolled his eyes and pulled back a bit to cup his cheek. "Don't worry about it. We can do it tomorrow. And you're talking to the king of procrastinators, here," Dan joked.

"Well I mean," Phil blushed. "I fell down some stairs, so I don't know how hurt I am." 

Dan blinked at him. "You fell- oh God. It really has been shit for you today.." he trailed off and held him close. 

Phil laughed dryly. "I hurt my leg, but I don't think it was bleeding." Dan nodded. "Alright, c'mon. Let's get you fixed up."  
-  
A half hour, some bandages, and sweet words later, Dan helped Phil into his bed. The dark haired man groaned as he accidentally lied on his hurt leg and snuggled into the covers. 

In reality, Phil half-expected for Dan to leave the room anyway. That was until he felt cold air at his back and him shuffling onto the bed and shift around. 

Phil made no will to move in his exhausted state. The mattress was jostled around for a few moments before Dan's warm body nestled up beside him. 

"Hi," Phil heard Dan whisper-greet and hook his hands around his waist. 

"Mhm, hi. Do we have to get up early tomorrow?" 

Phil felt him grin and kiss the place behind his ear. "Not anymore. I canceled our meeting with the BBC so you could take a day off." 

Phil made a noise in his throat and blinked his eyes open, only to close them a second later. "Why'd you do that? Don't they have like.. attack dogs to find us or something?" Phil muttered and yawned. 

Phil felt Dan smile. "Shut up, you deserve it. I'll do the groceries and stuff while your leg gets better, and once I get back, we can.. um.. make cookies or something. Okay?" 

Phil hummed. "M'kay." And then he fell asleep.


	3. Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete never had many nightmares. In fact, he never really dreamed, for that matter. But when he did dream, it was often very nightmarish, and he always woke up screaming or shaking. But he would always be alone when he had those types of nightmares. That was before he met Patrick.

I'M SORRY! Patrick was screaming, throwing mixed insults and accusations at me without relent. It seemed like he was everywhere and nowhere. Bleeding into my memories and intruding my every thought from nothing but an empty space.  
Covering my ears and even screaming didn't help. Even as Patrick slammed the door shut behind in a fit of rage, and I screamed at no one, nothing got better. The thoughts burrowed inside my head and never went away.  
I fell to my knees in anguish. All the things Patrick didn't say, and all the lies I knew were so clear, a blind man could see them. It felt like being crushed.  
The empty space began darkening and growing smaller until there was nowhere left to hide, and I couldn't lie anymore. I should've knew he wouldn't stay from the beginning. Patrick was too good for me, too perfect.  
The box grew tighter and smaller every second, each time more agonising than before. I was too messed up. Patrick was beautiful. Knowing him, he most likely dedicated himself to me out of pity.  
I screamed for help. Shouting, yelling. I scratched at the walls. But no one, not even Patrick pitied me, and I was left alone to die. It felt like every intake of air was choked out of my lungs.  
Smaller and smaller the box compressed my body until I heard my bones breaking. I sobbed out in pure agony before the void around me began to stutter and contort, and the pain abruptly ended.  
-  
Patrick was the first thing I saw when I regained consciousness. He was at my side, shushing me and holding my shaking form close in his arms. I didn't want to get his shirt wet, but I couldn't stop the quiet sobs escaping my throat. 

Had I been making noises in my sleep? I must've been, because my throat felt like sandpaper, and my entire body was ingulfed in a cold sweat. My face felt damp with tears and more brimmed at my eyes as I shook. 

I latched onto the closest thing- which was Patrick. And he did the same. Patrick pulled me into his arms, and cooed calming nonsense I couldn't understand in my ears. But it still felt fucking amazing nonetheless. 

We had been sleeping together, so fuck. I must've woke him up with that stupid nightmare. I hid my face in the crook of Patrick's neck, and clung to his warm body under the blankets. 

I didn't have many night terrors as violent as these anymore, but when I did, it was a living Hell. All the other times I was only lucky enough that Patrick didn't have to experience them with me. But now- I couldn't stop the sporadic shaking, or the violent sobs that wracked my chest. But despite all that, Patrick was still here. 

When I could finally function like a normal Human being again a long time later, I pulled back a bit, but I was never letting go. I must've looked like shit, but Patrick didn't seem to care. Instead he wiped my brow, and kissed me on the lips. I already felt a quadrillion times better.

"You had a nightmare," Patrick breathed when he pulled back, and I but the inside of my cheek. Maybe he was shocked. I never recognized myself after I had a nightmare like that. Plus, I never remembered them being about Patrick. I nodded. 

"Yeah, I- yeah." My voice was throaty and it hurt to talk.  
"Petey," Patrick sighed, then he groped for my hand and hooked his arm lower around my hip.  
"Sorr-sorry, I'm so sorry," I apologised when I realised Patrick was squirming out of my grip to the bedside table. Right, he was leaving, of course. 

I squeezed my eyes shut and sniffed, hoping this was just a bad dream too. Patrick groped for the little switch on the bedside lamp and switched it on. Both of us cringed at the sudden light, but it was small. I sighed once he turned back towards me. 

"Why're you sorry?" Patrick took my hand in his and snuggled close to me again. I wiped my eyes and laughed dryly. I didn't deserve him. 

But my boyfriend grabbed that hand too and pressed my lips to his with care. It wasn't the first time we had kissed, but I knew I would always get that same jumpy feeling in my chest when we did. 

I stopped the kiss a moment later and saw Patrick searching for answers on my face. It didn't take a genius to hypothesise that I felt like shit. 

"For-For waking y-you up," I stuttered once my voice wasn't so thick. Patrick shook his head and kissed my knuckles.  
"Don't. It's okay," he told me and I couldn't believe how better that made me feel.

I wanted to cherish Patrick's presence before the inevitable time came, and he would be asking to leave in that kind way he does. 

"I'm not angry at you, Pete. Is that what you think's going on?" He read my mind again, the fucker.  
"But-"  
"No, shut the fuck up for a second," Patrick interrupted, and kissed me on my flustered cheek. "Don't think that. I fucking love you, Pete." My breath hitched a little in my throat. I knew he loved me, I just couldn't help it. 

"You, you were screaming in your sleep. Shaking and calling my name, and, and I just-"  
"I'm sorry you had to wake up to that," I apologised without warning. Patrick sighed and kissed me to shut me up. 

"Don't be. You just don't have a lot of nightmares, and especially not as violent as.." Patrick trailed off and gazed into my eyes.  
"Yeah, I know," I sniffed a moment later. 

I owed my boyfriend an explanation in the least. "I don't have nightmares, or even dream a lot. But sometimes I do, and when I do- well, um, they're not good," I chuckled and wanted to disappear forever. 

Patrick gave me a sympathetic look and tugged me closer to his chest. I fell into the invitation and readjusted my hold. "Okay sugar," Patrick mumbled into my hair and I never felt safer. "You wanna talk about it?" I breathed in Patrick's scent and shook my head. 

"You were in it," I sniffed into his neck and sighed. Patrick rubbed my back in soothing circles and was silent for a moment, contemplating.

"Alright Pete, we don't have to talk about what happened in it, but, do you remember what I was doing? I dunno, I'm just curious," Patrick shrugged when he saw my confused expression. 

I nodded and enjoyed the texture of my boyfriend's soft skin beneath my fingertips. I ran through the events in the dream and suppressed a shudder. Somehow I always remembered my nightmares, a lot of the ones about people who I actually gave a shit about.

"I think you were y-yelling at me, and you l-left. I don't remember what it was 'bout though." I didn't even look up at Patrick this time and kept my eyes closed, listening to the strong beat of his heart. I could hear him thinking while he threaded his fingers through my dark hair.

"I'm sorry," Patrick muttered and hugged me as close as he could. This time, I looked at him.  
"You didn't do anything."  
He sighed and pecked me on the side of my mouth. "Yeah, well that's not gonna make me stop apologising that you had a nightmare and I scared you in it."  
"But I'm okay," I lied.  
"Doesn't matter. You still worried me like Hell. You feel like going back to sleep?" I hummed and closed my eyes as the adrenaline rush completely faded, and exhaustion finally started to set in. 

Patrick nodded and shifted in my arms to turn the lamp off. "Wait, wait," I startled and my boyfriend stopped to look at me with concern. 

"Just- can you leave it on?" I asked in a small voice that must've made me sound pitiful. A small smile graced Patrick's lips, and he nodded. I hooked an arm back around his hip, and pulled him back down so his back was against my chest. 

Patrick complied and sighed once I snuggled up against his back. I grinned into the mark on his neck and kissed it. That sigh turned into a gasp real quick, and Patrick turned his head back around to look at me. 

"Sorry," I half smirked, my mischief train of thought faltering for a second when I saw his expression. Patrick rolled his eyes and kissed me. It made me feel safe, which felt weird.

In fact, he flipped back around to face me and pressed up against me. "Can I?" He implied, stroking my hip. 

I hummed, half asleep, and flipped around. The next second Patrick pressed up against me with his head on my neck. I wasn't aware how tired I was until then, and got comfortable under the covers in a flash. 

I didn't have another nightmare that night, which was a miracle. And both Patrick and I fell asleep a few minutes later with his arms still around me snug, and that stupid lamp still glaring.


	4. Why Do You Care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil had been dealing with a lot of hate on the Internet recently. He was also keeping it from everyone; including Dan. But no secret stays secret forever.

"Dan, why do you care to be my friend?" Dan Howell averted his eyes from the Tumblr page on his laptop, befuddled at his best friend's sudden appearance. "What?" Dan closed the page as Phil padded in, still in his hoodie, t-shirt, and black skinny jeans. despite the late hour of 9:30PM.

"I, um, was just wondering why you care to live with me after so long after everything.." Phil averted his gaze to the floor, curious and hoping Dan would take him seriously.

The YouTuber raised a confused eyebrow at first, but then snorted, assuming Phil was up to his old shenanigans again. "Oh Phillip, you know i'm just using you to get close to your mum," Dan laughed light-heartedly. But Phil felt his heart sink at his friend's oblivion.

But Phil smiled anyway and he nodded before he realized what he had just done. "Okay," Phil smiled.

Liar

"Um, I think i'm going to turn in early tonight..'night Dan." And Phil was making his way towards the hall before Dan could even get a word out. Truth be told, that was a little strange, but he just assumed it was Phil being, well, Phil.

And with that thought out of the way, the Brit resumed his Tumblr browsing as the blaring of the TV sounded in the background. Phil returned to his bedroom and all but collapsed onto his bed. He was so exhausted, and he dreaded opening his laptop that lied on his bedside table.

Groping for his pillow, the YouTuber held it close and curled himself into a ball. He was such an idiot for being such a wuss to his friend. As well as terrified of what waited for him on his social media feed.

A few minutes later, Phil reluctantly grabbed his laptop and setting it on his lap, troubled. For the past couple of weeks it seemed everything someone tried to comment or post on his social media, was resentment. On the Internet, and in his daily life.

He could feel people, staring and scrutinizing him behind his back. There was some that tried retaliating against them, and Phil knew he should be ignoring them. YouTubers get hate comments all the time, including his flatmate. But they had started to pick up a lot more recently. (Most of them was from his lack of a video). He started losing sleep, eating less, and his self esteem far lower than normal.

In fact, Phil had been dreading this all day, confused on why he couldn't be strong for once and suck it up. If Dan was so impervious to hate, why couldn't he be?

Phil put aside his pessimistic way of thinking, and logged onto his Twitter first. Maybe things got better. But he was wrong. The first comment Phil even glanced at was hate.

@AmazingPhil is SO FUCKING STUPID. that idiot doesnt know how to post youtube vids?? Ugh im gonna unsub if he doesn't post soon

The second.

Hey @AmazingPhil is such a stupid gay dumbass. I just wish hed go kill himself already ://

The third.

God i HATE @AmazingPhil. Hes not even funny. The only reason he has subs is cuz of Dan. I just wish hed quit youtube and go die somewhere

For weeks, this had been reoccurring, but Phil still felt sick to his stomach when he read new ones. He knew these things weren't true, he had many other fans who appreciated his videos. But the more these comments showed up, the more he began to believe them.

What if they were true? Dan was a far better YouTuber than him. At least he could shoot new video's within the month. Phil was always busy, or had another excuse. That was it. It had to be. Everyone was just lying to make him feel better.

He was a poor excuse for a person, especially when it came to his job. He didn't deserve Dan, or any of the fantastic things he had thanks to YouTube. There were billions of other people who could do the same thing, and be better than Phil ever tried to be. He was just an idiot, and the whole world knew it.

Phil couldn't believe he hadn't come to this conclusion before, when it was obviously the truth. Tears welled up in Phil's dull blue eyes, but wiped them away quickly. He had skimmed through his replies for a couple minutes before shutting his laptop, and rubbing his baggy eyes.

He couldn't go to sleep when he should be editing a video. Phil was afraid of being resented more if he waited. So, with a heavy weight in his chest, Phil sat up.

He made his way to his other computer on his desk, and slumped into the chair. Phil decided to work on his unedited mess until it was finished so he could sleep easier that night.

A few hours later..

3:35AM. The bold clock lettering mocked him. The new video was almost finished, though. Although Phil caught himself starting to doze off every couple seconds, and had to strain his eyes once more to stay awake.

Phil was sore, and also hungry. He had forgotten to eat dinner. And lunch. And breakfast. He could've used some coffee right now, but he decided to give Dan the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his flatmate had gone to his own room to sleep already. Phil didn't want to wake him.

The brunette went back, and rewatched the video for the fourth time, trying to decide for the third time that night if he like it. Phil winced at the sound of his annoying voice. Then squirmed in the chair at his disproportionate, ugly features.

Shaking his head, he paused it, and minimized the tab. He'd never be finished with the editing at this point, but he couldn't help imagining who else would be pissed at him. Or even worse, recognize more for what he really was if he didn't.

Suddenly, Phil was overcome with hacking coughs, roughly tearing at his parched throat. The YouTuber groaned, rubbing his face, and retreating underneath the dark refuge of his desk to hack there.

Phil wasn't sure how long this went on for. All he was sure of was that his eyes were watering, and his throat ached by the time he could breathe again. Then, a rapping knock sounded from outside his door. "Phil? Are you awake..? I can hear you all the way from the living room," Dan's worried voice sounded, muffled outside the door.

Phil squeezed his tired eyes shut, waves of unjust grief washing over him. So Dan was awake. They both knew the YouTuber had trouble sleeping at night. Maybe if he had checked in on him instead of editing the stupid-

"Open the door, Phil. You can't hide in there forever," Dan interrupted. More jiggling of the doorknob sounded for a few seconds before it ceased, and the padded footfalls faded. Phil was aware of his unleveled breathing now, more concerned of his flatmate finding him so pathetic.

For a moment, Phil even thought his friend had left, before the footsteps returned, and a key was unlocking his door. The older stifled a whimper and tried to make himself look smaller, which, of course, was a pretty useless plan to begin with. While Phil's anxiety worsened, the door creaked open, and light flooded into the room.

"Phillip? Wait, where are- Phil?" Dan's padded footsteps ceased where the YouTuber was still curled up underneath the desk. There was no hiding now, and he knew it. Dan could just make out his friend's shaking form underneath the desk. The most he saw was illuminated by the computer screen. "Hey, hold on." And Dan's form was gone again, and the large lamp next to his bed was switched on.

Phil grimaced and hid his face in his pulled up knees from the sudden brightness. But Dan seemed to be used to it, and made his way back to Phil's curled up form. At the sight of his friend, Dan instantly felt guilty. The brunette was curled up, arms hiding his face, and shaking.

"Phil, what's wrong?" Dan asked, kneeling down on his knees. The older heaved a dry sob and wiped his eyes with his hands, shaking his head. "You weren't editing a video, were you?" When Phil made no sign to respond, he sighed.

Dan got down beside Phil and wrapped his arms awkwardly around his friend's shaking frame. Phil stifled a gasp as Dan hugged him, dragging him into his lap as well. The difference Dan made effected him immediately. It surrounded Phil in a warmth he caved into.

It seemed to be just fine with the latter, who pulled him closer still. Phil couldn't believe how good Dan was at pretending to care. "Dan," the brunette choked, and was sobbing into his friend's shoulder. Chest heaving, wrenching sobs that he couldn't stop.

But this still didn't seem to bother Dan. In fact, he rubbed comforting circles into Phil's back, and whispered sweet nothings in his ear as he just let him cry. Phil didn't hold back, either. All the pent up frustration and pain of the last month just came tumbling out on Dan's shoulder as they held each other tight.

And Phil knew he would leave after this was over, so who was he to stall? It was about ten minutes later that Phil began to calm down, leaving him a pathetic, trembling mess in Dan's arms.

The first words that left the brunette's mouth was an apology. "S-Sorry, sorry. I got y-your shirt we-et," he sniffled, pushing himself off of Dan's shoulders. The YouTuber just eyed him sympathetically, and pulled him back. "Phil, hey." Dan patted Phil's cheek as he avoided his gaze. "I could care less about the stupid shirt, okay? What's wrong?"

The brunette couldn't meet Dan's wide brown eyes without bursting into tears again. Phil wiped his eyes and laughed dryly, shaking his head. "Pf, you don't c-care. You're jus' lying to p-pity me. It's always b-been like t-that. You don't h-have to make up e-excuses to be my friend a-anymore."

Dan looked like he was about to cry himself. "Wh- you were being serious earlier, weren't you?" Phil sniffed and hid his face in Dan's shoulder. "But it is! You w-would be much better o-off without me. No-no amount of-of recognition you h-have now was c-contributed because of me. I'm a-a useless twat, Dan. In fact, I'll kick m-myself out now so you w-won't have to."

Phil shifted to get up, but Dan was having none of it. The wide eyed man pulled Phil back, and held on as if he were afraid he'd disappear right in front of him. "God, Phil. No. No, you're wrong," Dan asserted, his voice cracking. "How long have you thought this? Whatever triggered you- those assholes on the Internet, or-or YouTube, they're so fucking wrong."

Phil's bloodshot eyes bored into Dan's. The brunette held his breath, waiting for the 'but-'. "Phil, your imperfections are what make you perfect. Your dopey smiles are what light up the entire fucking room. Your stupid jokes, and the way you always make everyone smile on the shittiest days.. I get lost in your eyes, Phil. I know you don't realise, but you're perfect the way you are," Dan finished.

Tears were streaming down Phil's cheeks now, and he was having breathing problems. His arms were hooked around Dan's neck the next second so sudden the desk jolted. The brunette could hardly believe what Dan had just told him, holding his hand so tight it was like he was making a promise.

A moment later, the younger pulled back and cleared tear tracks from Phil's face with the pad of his thumb. The brunette was a trembling, shocked mess in Dan's arms. All the while clinging to him like glue as his flatmate's wide brown eyes bore into Phil's.

The older wouldn't exactly meet Dan's eyes, and was (accidentally) nosing his cheek as a headache swept over him. "Phil?" Dan muttered a few minutes later as he still hadn't said anything. "Hey, Phil. Talk to me." Phil was still hugging Dan as he patted him on the cheek.

"I'm-I'm sorry. All these-th-these people, they w-were-" Phil couldn't even hold it together. Not any longer before he was being brought into another hug. How had he gotten so lucky, holy Hell.

Dan rubbed his friend's back, and cooed sweet nothings into his neck. "Shh, it's okay. S'okay, Phil. You don't have to think like that anymore. Not while I'm here. Jus' tell me how long," Dan requested softly as he met Phil's eyes.

The brunette squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "Four, um, four weeks, I think." Phil felt Dan tense in his arms and his breath hitch. The brunette was about to console his flatmate himself when something happened. Dan sniffled, and then he was leaning in.

Phil's eyes were wide with shock, and he found himself to be paralysed. Then Dan's lips were pressed tentatively against his. Phil stifled a gasp, but he didn't pull away. Neither did Dan. In fact, the older leaned in to the kiss and wrapped his arms around Dan's neck.

Out of the last four months, Phil has never felt happier. His heart felt like it was exploding. And his tummy was alive with butterflies. As if fearing he'd break him, Dan caressed Phil's jaw, and tangled his fingers in his hair. Phil sighed in Dan's mouth.

They finally separated only when they were panting for air. Phil didn't get a single word out. "I love you," Dan panted, his brown doe eyes glimmering. They were pressed so close together, Phil could feel Dan's hot breath against his cheek.

The brunette found himself overjoyed, and a bit unable to breathe. "I-," Phil grinned.  
"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Idc if hes married, I ship it


End file.
